Friday, 1 January 2016

TWO ZERO ONE SIX

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.



Time flew and we didn't even noticed. A year change me and taught a lot of useful things. I tend to become a lot more stronger than before. And I realize that we always should appreciate the moment because like me now, we never know how we will end up. I always thought like "okay since I'm Mashoorian since form 1 so I'll be Mashoorian till I end my school life" but actually not. I have to move to other school for some particular reasons and know what? It does killing me, A LOT.

It's hard to believe that I'll be leaving the friends I love behind while achieving the dreams I want. I may look happy and excited to move like saying "hey my school have boys", "my school don't have to wear uniform", "my school wears black shoes", "my school's book is blue color yes my fav", "my new school is way better than that school". But hey, do you know that I'm acting to be like that? You think I don't feel hurts for saying that? It's freaking hurts, here, deep inside, deep enough that anyone wouldn't see how hurts I am. But saying this won't change anything. 

I tend to learn that "Hijrah need a sacrifice" is a really true words. We won't achieve what we want if we hold on to something for too long. Yes, I learn that. I lose two friends when I changed to become more Islamic with how I dress. But now I lose a freaking more than 80 friends for moving and achieving my dreams.

But no, I wouldn't let that things lingering inside me forever. I may not broke this strong bond between us but I may not hold on to you guys anymore either. I have to accept that things changes and you guys have to accept that I'm not in your memories anymore.

By the way, like I used to do in my previous new year post, I want to list things to achieve for this new year.
  • I want to keep on upgrading good results from time to time like 2015
  • I want to study hard, get a scholarship then run out to other country
  • I want to overcome my 'naive problem'
  • I don't want to overthink either my problems or others
  • I won't give a fucking shit to anything that involve with school
Okay maybe that's it for now, that I could think of.

And right now, as the new year going to starts, I want to let go all of you and starts a new life at my new school. Sorry.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.