Sunday, 23 August 2015

Released

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.


I just finished an exam last Thursday and it's felt so relieve like we just finished SPM and graduating school. Hahaha. Sure, it absolutely felt like that. Cause you don't know how our exam be like. Although it's just August test, but our teachers kill us with such a goddamn SPM-like questions. God, it's hard to be a student right?

So... to release a bit of my tension, I accepted a few friends' request to edit their blog. Lol. Yes, I love to edit blog and create blogskins. I didn't think anything while I'm doing it and that's what I do when I want run out from reality, stress, and of course when I'm bored.

I actually doesn't have a point for posting this but there's an urge for me wanting to update something. Maybe because I'm bored. Yeah maybe, since there's no more blogs to edit. 

Oh ya! Read my previous post? The one I'm talking about dreams? I talked to my friends about it, and one of them tell us that her cousin doesn't have thing she want to be and when she entered university, the university recommend her a course and now she's graduated and successful with that. So I thought, just like I said in the previous post, maybe I'll get in one day, maybe it's not now. I'll just need to wait. Wait 'a few' years more. Errr -.-"

Okay let's end the nonsense here. See you again. Bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Strike

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

"Catastrophe was about to strike"

Hello and hi! I'm back with the title strike. What strike? It's about my future.

About a few days ago, my Mathematics teacher, Puan Norenjah, asked some of the students in my class, "Apa cita-cita kamu? Impian kamu" which mean 'what is your dream' type of question. I heard many of my friends' dreams and got a little jelous of them for having a big dreams. I was one of the students that being asked and guess what, I told my teacher "Entah la, cikgu" and was forced to think of one. I ended up answering her "Live an easy life maybe" and she asked me again with "What kind of easy? How can  you get an easy life?". I just told her "Being success?". I know she was fed up with me that she finally asked me to take a sit.

That night, before going to sleep, while I was lying on the bed, I thought about what happen that day which was what happen in Math class.

"Am I really doesn't have a dream?"
"What will I became when I'm adult?"
"Where will I go once the SPM results is out?"
"What will I do with my life?"
"What do I really love actually?"

I once want to become an Artist. That's my ambition since standard 5. I changed it when I'm in form 3 which was when I learnt the last chapter in subject Science, The Stars and Universe. Since I'm obsessed with stars, I got interest to learn more about it and that's when I decided to become an Astronomer.

But as I reached form 4 and be a science stream student, one starry night, I thought to myself again, "Is this what I really want?" I can't even study so well and all I can do is the art thingy things. And I've make a stupid decision ever. I decided to drop Biology and take Art instead but ended up being betrayed. I've dropped Biology but I can't study Art either with the excuse of only me taking the subject so it's risk the school's grade so much. When I decided to transfer, my father didn't agree with it because he want me to have Bahasa Arab in my SPM results. 

And now, here I am, being a girl with no dream.

Is it normal for girl with age of mine has no dream?

I think I just need time. I guess so. Maybe I'll get the answer later and not now. Maybe one day.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.