Wednesday, 31 December 2014

TWO ZERO ONE FIVE

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Well, 2014 is going to end soon - just few hours more. I think I have to update this blog no matter what. Actually, my laptop have some problems. No. It's not my laptop actually, it's my wifi. So I'm updating by using my phone. I hope this turn out well when I publish it later.

So... how about talking in malay?

Hahaha. Dah lama tak update blog guna bahasa melayu so it's feel a bit weird for me to write this. Okay whatever.

2014 mengajar aku banyak benda. Serious talk. SA dapat rasai banyak jenis perasaan tahun ni - perasaan ditikam belakang dengan kawan sendiri, perasaan hilang kawan satu persatu, perasaan disakiti, perasaan bila diabaikan, perasaan bila dikecewakan dan banyak lagi. Hmm.

Tapi SA dapat belajar banyak perasaan positif jugak dalam masa yang sama - perasaan bila kita tahu kita disayangi, perasaan bila dihargai, perasaan bila SA dapat rasa perubahan pada diri SA, perasaan bila pencapaian SA lebih bagus dari dulu dan banyak lagi la. Tak cukup satu post untuk list semua yang SA dah belajar dalam tahun ni.

Okay, nak SA cerita something tak pasal hidup SA selama ni? Bukan nak buka aib sendiri. SA just nak kongsi pengalaman hidup SA dengan readers. Harap cerita SA ni boleh korang jadikan teladan dan pengajaran untuk memulakan sesi 2015 korang. Cewahhh. Hahahahaha.

SA ni dilabel pelajar bermasalah sebenarnya oleh guru2 kat sekolah. Serious. Kenapa? Sebab SA malas nak buat homework. Banyak kali. Since form 1 SA kekalkan perangai ni. Mahu tak dicop bermasalah? It's not that SA taknak buat but SA memang tak ada minat nak teruskan kehidupan disebabkan masalah yang family SA hadap. SA selalu fikir nak mati awal. Sebab SA tak suka nak hidup lagi dah. Tapi bila cikgu, kawan2 or parent SA tanya kenapa tak buat homework, lidah SA kaku. SA tak dapat jawab soalan diorng. Ni first time SA reveal reason SA actually. SA tak pernah cita kat kawan2 or sapa2 pon pasal ni. So be glad to read this.

And nak tahu macam mana SA boleh terbuka hati nak berubah tahun ni? Sebab SA kesian dekat mak SA. Ya, SA baru ada perasaan tu tahun ni. SA rasa bersalah menyusahkan hidup dia. Dia pernah menangis depan SA sebab SA sendiri - satu-satunya anak yang dia ada dan dia harapkan. SA takut SA tak cium bau syurga sebab buat mak SA sedih. So SA tekad nak berubah. Walaupun masa tu lagi 5 bulan ja sebelum exam.

Tapi benda yang buat SA fed up nak berubah is manusia yang tak pernah berhenti judge manusia lain - cikgu2 sekolah SA. Diorang suka butakan mata bila SA bagus dalam sesuatu tu tapi bila sskali SA buat silap, heboh satu bilik guru tu. Mula2 SA tak tahan. SA rasa macam 'buat apa aku nak berubah tapi orang tak nampak?'. Sebab tu SA pernah fed up nak berubah tapi SA tak ingat bila tapi dalam bulan puasa jugak la, SA dengar senior SA bagi tazkirah.

"Kita ni nak berubah, niat kerana Allah. Sebab kalau fikirkan hati manusia, sampai bila pon kita tak berubah jadi lebih baik. Ahli neraka la jawabnya kita semua ni. Manusia tak pernah terlepas dari sikap suka menghukum."

Jadi, SA gain banyak confident dan mula belajar untuk bersabar. Dan alhamdulillah, look at me now. I'm a new Aishah. SA rasa kalau SA tak berubah, PT3 punya result mesti takkan macam yang SA dapat sekarang. Walaupun SA tak straight A, tapi kawan2 SA puji SA sebab SA dah buktikan dekat cikgu2 yang SA memang boleh berubah. Diorang cakap diorang bangga dengan SA dan serious talk, SA happy sangat sebab SA rasa ada orang nampak usaha SA selama ni. Dan hidup SA rasa lebih tenang sekarang. SA dapat lebih ramai kawan tahun. Bukan kawan baru. Just kawan yang satu form tapi SA tak pernah bertegur dengan dia, sekrang dah boleh rapat dengan SA.

Alhamdulillah.

SA gembira dengan perubahan SA. Sangat2 gembira.

SA harap cerita SA dapat bagi teladan dan pengajaran dekat readers semua.

Azam SA untuk tahun ni mesti la nak jadi Aishah yang lebih baik daripada sebelun ni. SA harap SA tak ulang kesilapan lalu. Doakan hidup SA jadi lebih baik.

And I have some goals for 2015. Here...
  • have less typos (sebab SA ni kaki typo)
  • get good grades in every exam
  • have new percussion (sebab percussion sekolah SA dah buruk)
  • hope ustazah will hire a music teacher for percussionist
  • make sure Nida'ul Husna is no.1 in every competition
  • don't lose any friends like I did this year
  • be a better and lovable Aishah

Harap2 dapat capai la matlamat ni semua.

Okay, sampai sini saja untuk post kali ni. Before I end this, with a glad heart I wanna say HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hahaha okay bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Result

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Finally, I'm able to update this post. Well, as you all know, PT3's results came out yesterday and of course, I've got my result too. Want to know what it is? Hahaha. In your dream.

I arrived at school with my mom but my mom didn't want to enter so she just wait in the car outside of the school. When I enter the school, I walked straight to friends who were waiting at school's canteen. We laughed and talked about useless thing to release some nervousness. And then when there're more people arrived, we started to nervous back. The teachers already at the school's hall waiting for the students to take their results. Then, me and my friends went to the school's hall and heard that we just need to take the result and allowed to go back home straight after that. But us, didn't go and take it yet - because we didn't ready yet. So we wait a few minute(s). But soon, I felt like I'm ready enough so I asked Daz to join me. We went together and took the results. I didn't even say anything - I went to my class teacher, she saw my face, she searched for my name, she gave it to me, I took and went out.

When I look at it, I don't know what to feel. I'm happy because there's still many 'A's in my result - I'm expecting there's only 1 A actually. And I feel happy because I think I'm better than I thought myself to be. There's no fail in my result. So I'm glad. But when I think of my mom who is waiting outside, I feel the nerve. How can I explain to her? How? To make sure she's understand me. How?

You know what? I told ya that I want to be an astronomer but with the result that I got now, can I even get to enter the science class? Okay to be honest, I really didn't make it in science. If I don't, I still want to. I rather make a flattery to enter science class because I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to be an ASTRONOMER! That's my dream and I want to run and catch it. But what if I don't even be able to run? My ambition, my dream, my wish, are all ruined!

Plus, hahaha. Say bye to MRSM, Cah! Hahahahaha. I don't know why but I think it's funny that I applied to MRSM. I don't even have any confident but argh I don't know.

I got scolded by my oldest sister because I can't make it science. She's the one who teach me Maths and Science but when I don't score much in Science, it's hurting. Gladly, I score my Maths excellently. She also use to talk to me in English and when I didn't get A, she scolded me for that too.

Well, the truth is, I didn't feel upset, sad, depress or anything. I still can smile like I use to. But the thing that make me sad is, my family. They don't understand how much we suffered yet they judge me for nothing. I think like I got scolded for no reason. It's not like I didn't even attempt so. Argh. Life is full of judgement. I'm screwed.

Whatever it is, I'm proud of myself. It's not that I'm satisfied with the result but I think I did really worked hard for it so 'Alhamdulillah' will make it. If you who read this are PT3's candidates too the only you'll understand me. 

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Faith

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

There's no much time left for me for hoping and praying. Today is D-5 already. So there's 5 days more to go before all batch 99 meet with 22 December 2014. I swear that day will be a memorable day for all PT3's candidate, or shall I say... PT3's victim? Ahaha. Of course it's a memorable day but the thing is either it's a sweet or bitter memory. I know I didn't put a lot of effort on that crazy-new-exam actually. So, whatever it come out to be, I'll try to accept it. Redha. I believe success depend on how much effort we give.

Well... I hear there's so many rumors about this upcoming result. There's people who said that the gred didn't decrease or increase at all. This make me cry already. If that's the case, then I'll only 1A or 2A. There's also people who said that PT3 will be repealed next year because of this year's result are so disappointing. This quite testing batch 99's anger actually. Who do you think we are? A substances and apparatus for an experiment?

I try not to think too much about it to avoid stress. I don't want to feel the same pressure I've felt before. The pressure that I felt on the day before PT3's exam. I can't even study properly because of it. So let's not get the pressure again this time. I want to be look cool. Hahaha.




Okay,let's stop talking about that crazy-mind-making thing. Well, it's been a long time since I last post about kpop thing and my over-crazy-fangirling. So, who are those 7 guys above. Aha! It's BTS! Bangtan Boys. Bulletproof Boys. Bangtan Sonyeondan. Fine, I'll stop shout their name. What's wrong with them? Actually I'm slowly becoming an ARMY now. Adorable Representative M.C for Youth. BTS's fan. It's since last February which is on their comeback, Skool Luv Affair album which represent Boy In Luv as their title. At that time I just know V because I'm interest on how weird he is. Hahaha, he really deserves that 'alien' title. I also stalk them a little. 








Sorry for building a gallery here. Hehe. But when they do their another comeback which on August with Wild & Dark album which the title is Danger, I slowly became more interest in them. So I start stalking them a little more. I start to watch all their variety shows they attend and learning little by little about them. Some k-pop group must have that one person who are serious or quiet - but not them. They are all loud - and crazy. I still like V but the more I stalk, the more I fell for Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin and V is classmate in high school actually. So they are quite close. Do you watch last MAMA. Oh gosh. Jimin is really getting my attention. 


Just ignore it if you don't like. But you must realize how hot is he. Oh My V, I swear he's so hot. How can he own a cute face and a hot body at the same time?

Enough with my fangirling. It will never end. If you know me in person only then you will know how crazy I'm fangirling over someone and something if I really love them. Okay. I think this is it. I'll try to find more time after this to update - maybe after result. Anyway, to everyone who read this, do pray for me. I hope I'll get what I deserve.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Monday, 15 December 2014

No More

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Maybe to who that doesn't know me in person never know what my nickname are. Okay, today I'm gonna reveal my true self. I've never story anything, right?

I have been always use to be called Cah. And sometimes they even call me AishEob. AishEob stands for Aishah + Yoseob. Hahahaha. Okay now, for the first time, I'll be mentioning about my school. I've been studying at SMKA (P) Al-Mashoor which is located in Georgetown, Penang. Actually it's not that I'm not proud to be Mashoorian but I just don't want people to misunderstand about that school because of me. Al-Mashoor is a great school with an awesome teachers and gorgeous students. But it's me who I think will dirt the school's name, for sure. Because of my kpop things and non-islamic-type post, I guess. 

I'm applying MRSM actually. I don't even know that I will be able to enter that school because I know my ability. If I was given a choice between to stay or transfer, I'll choose to stay. I really want to stay. Things that make me want to stay is, of course because of friends. I'm not the type who change friends easily. Second reason is because of Nasyid. Yeah, I'm school's Nasyid team member, Nida'ul Husna. I've been in this team since I'm form 2. I'm not a singer. I'm just a percussionist. My interest is music, as you read at my profile. I like playing music instrument no matter what it is and my favourite music instrument is guitar and keyboard. I wish I could own one of it one day.

But why do I applied MRSM if I want to stay? It is because of my mom. She is raising me alone. If I be one of the MRSM's students, I can get into university easily. And I think if I go there, I will be more serious in studies. That way I'll be able to catch my dream of being an Astronomer like Ibnu Sina. I like him a lot. And I want to be like him. I want to change the way of my life now. For the sake of my mom, actually. But I'm actually interest more in music than astronomy. Becoming a composer is my first serious ambition I have thought. Than I change when I'm 11, because my teacher said widespread of music is one of the sign of Kiamat. But now that I have matured enough to think about it, - since I'm in Nasyid team - music can effect almost everything we look to this world, - that's a fact - so why don't use my interest in music to spread da'wah? Isn't it will be more fun, right?

Well, I'm not the type who obviously start a conversation with strangers - and with someone I never talk to - including my friends, although we studies at the same school - even in the same class. So do greet me first if you want to talk to me cause I'll never. Plus, people said I'm arrogant. Even my friends said that before they know me, they think I'm arrogant - but it's turn out I'm really a vivacious person when they get to know me - because I love to laugh loudly. Guys, you don't know me yet you judge me by my face. My face is originally like that. If I walk alone at the corridor, am I suppose to smile by my own? Isn't that crazy? I'm a hot-tempered too. I don't like when people do something I hate.

I hate nuts and durian so much so please don't put them in my any kind of food. Actually I eat nuts sometimes - maybe some type of peanut - but I have never eat durian before. Never. I can't understand how they said it's so delicious while the smell is really... ugh! I can't stand with it.

Besides, I love stars. I love it so much. I love watching them every night from in front of my house gate. Don't ask me why because I'll only answers you "it's beautiful. extremely beautiful". I have another reason but no one knows about it - even my friends. But it is the reason why I love stars in the first place. And now it's not anymore. It's absolutely not my reason anymore. Anyways, I have many collection of stars origami and glow-in-the-dark stars. I usually love to make origami and it's officially became my hobby. But when I'm depressed, sad, disappointed and ect, I'll do more stars than I usually do. Because when I do the origami, I'm actually focus on it and automatically I forget all the problems I have. It really help me releasing stress.



That's all. Pray for me, guys. Wish me luck for my PT3's result. Bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.