Wednesday, 31 December 2014

TWO ZERO ONE FIVE

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Well, 2014 is going to end soon - just few hours more. I think I have to update this blog no matter what. Actually, my laptop have some problems. No. It's not my laptop actually, it's my wifi. So I'm updating by using my phone. I hope this turn out well when I publish it later.

So... how about talking in malay?

Hahaha. Dah lama tak update blog guna bahasa melayu so it's feel a bit weird for me to write this. Okay whatever.

2014 mengajar aku banyak benda. Serious talk. SA dapat rasai banyak jenis perasaan tahun ni - perasaan ditikam belakang dengan kawan sendiri, perasaan hilang kawan satu persatu, perasaan disakiti, perasaan bila diabaikan, perasaan bila dikecewakan dan banyak lagi. Hmm.

Tapi SA dapat belajar banyak perasaan positif jugak dalam masa yang sama - perasaan bila kita tahu kita disayangi, perasaan bila dihargai, perasaan bila SA dapat rasa perubahan pada diri SA, perasaan bila pencapaian SA lebih bagus dari dulu dan banyak lagi la. Tak cukup satu post untuk list semua yang SA dah belajar dalam tahun ni.

Okay, nak SA cerita something tak pasal hidup SA selama ni? Bukan nak buka aib sendiri. SA just nak kongsi pengalaman hidup SA dengan readers. Harap cerita SA ni boleh korang jadikan teladan dan pengajaran untuk memulakan sesi 2015 korang. Cewahhh. Hahahahaha.

SA ni dilabel pelajar bermasalah sebenarnya oleh guru2 kat sekolah. Serious. Kenapa? Sebab SA malas nak buat homework. Banyak kali. Since form 1 SA kekalkan perangai ni. Mahu tak dicop bermasalah? It's not that SA taknak buat but SA memang tak ada minat nak teruskan kehidupan disebabkan masalah yang family SA hadap. SA selalu fikir nak mati awal. Sebab SA tak suka nak hidup lagi dah. Tapi bila cikgu, kawan2 or parent SA tanya kenapa tak buat homework, lidah SA kaku. SA tak dapat jawab soalan diorng. Ni first time SA reveal reason SA actually. SA tak pernah cita kat kawan2 or sapa2 pon pasal ni. So be glad to read this.

And nak tahu macam mana SA boleh terbuka hati nak berubah tahun ni? Sebab SA kesian dekat mak SA. Ya, SA baru ada perasaan tu tahun ni. SA rasa bersalah menyusahkan hidup dia. Dia pernah menangis depan SA sebab SA sendiri - satu-satunya anak yang dia ada dan dia harapkan. SA takut SA tak cium bau syurga sebab buat mak SA sedih. So SA tekad nak berubah. Walaupun masa tu lagi 5 bulan ja sebelum exam.

Tapi benda yang buat SA fed up nak berubah is manusia yang tak pernah berhenti judge manusia lain - cikgu2 sekolah SA. Diorang suka butakan mata bila SA bagus dalam sesuatu tu tapi bila sskali SA buat silap, heboh satu bilik guru tu. Mula2 SA tak tahan. SA rasa macam 'buat apa aku nak berubah tapi orang tak nampak?'. Sebab tu SA pernah fed up nak berubah tapi SA tak ingat bila tapi dalam bulan puasa jugak la, SA dengar senior SA bagi tazkirah.

"Kita ni nak berubah, niat kerana Allah. Sebab kalau fikirkan hati manusia, sampai bila pon kita tak berubah jadi lebih baik. Ahli neraka la jawabnya kita semua ni. Manusia tak pernah terlepas dari sikap suka menghukum."

Jadi, SA gain banyak confident dan mula belajar untuk bersabar. Dan alhamdulillah, look at me now. I'm a new Aishah. SA rasa kalau SA tak berubah, PT3 punya result mesti takkan macam yang SA dapat sekarang. Walaupun SA tak straight A, tapi kawan2 SA puji SA sebab SA dah buktikan dekat cikgu2 yang SA memang boleh berubah. Diorang cakap diorang bangga dengan SA dan serious talk, SA happy sangat sebab SA rasa ada orang nampak usaha SA selama ni. Dan hidup SA rasa lebih tenang sekarang. SA dapat lebih ramai kawan tahun. Bukan kawan baru. Just kawan yang satu form tapi SA tak pernah bertegur dengan dia, sekrang dah boleh rapat dengan SA.

Alhamdulillah.

SA gembira dengan perubahan SA. Sangat2 gembira.

SA harap cerita SA dapat bagi teladan dan pengajaran dekat readers semua.

Azam SA untuk tahun ni mesti la nak jadi Aishah yang lebih baik daripada sebelun ni. SA harap SA tak ulang kesilapan lalu. Doakan hidup SA jadi lebih baik.

And I have some goals for 2015. Here...
  • have less typos (sebab SA ni kaki typo)
  • get good grades in every exam
  • have new percussion (sebab percussion sekolah SA dah buruk)
  • hope ustazah will hire a music teacher for percussionist
  • make sure Nida'ul Husna is no.1 in every competition
  • don't lose any friends like I did this year
  • be a better and lovable Aishah

Harap2 dapat capai la matlamat ni semua.

Okay, sampai sini saja untuk post kali ni. Before I end this, with a glad heart I wanna say HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hahaha okay bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Result

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Finally, I'm able to update this post. Well, as you all know, PT3's results came out yesterday and of course, I've got my result too. Want to know what it is? Hahaha. In your dream.

I arrived at school with my mom but my mom didn't want to enter so she just wait in the car outside of the school. When I enter the school, I walked straight to friends who were waiting at school's canteen. We laughed and talked about useless thing to release some nervousness. And then when there're more people arrived, we started to nervous back. The teachers already at the school's hall waiting for the students to take their results. Then, me and my friends went to the school's hall and heard that we just need to take the result and allowed to go back home straight after that. But us, didn't go and take it yet - because we didn't ready yet. So we wait a few minute(s). But soon, I felt like I'm ready enough so I asked Daz to join me. We went together and took the results. I didn't even say anything - I went to my class teacher, she saw my face, she searched for my name, she gave it to me, I took and went out.

When I look at it, I don't know what to feel. I'm happy because there's still many 'A's in my result - I'm expecting there's only 1 A actually. And I feel happy because I think I'm better than I thought myself to be. There's no fail in my result. So I'm glad. But when I think of my mom who is waiting outside, I feel the nerve. How can I explain to her? How? To make sure she's understand me. How?

You know what? I told ya that I want to be an astronomer but with the result that I got now, can I even get to enter the science class? Okay to be honest, I really didn't make it in science. If I don't, I still want to. I rather make a flattery to enter science class because I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY want to be an ASTRONOMER! That's my dream and I want to run and catch it. But what if I don't even be able to run? My ambition, my dream, my wish, are all ruined!

Plus, hahaha. Say bye to MRSM, Cah! Hahahahaha. I don't know why but I think it's funny that I applied to MRSM. I don't even have any confident but argh I don't know.

I got scolded by my oldest sister because I can't make it science. She's the one who teach me Maths and Science but when I don't score much in Science, it's hurting. Gladly, I score my Maths excellently. She also use to talk to me in English and when I didn't get A, she scolded me for that too.

Well, the truth is, I didn't feel upset, sad, depress or anything. I still can smile like I use to. But the thing that make me sad is, my family. They don't understand how much we suffered yet they judge me for nothing. I think like I got scolded for no reason. It's not like I didn't even attempt so. Argh. Life is full of judgement. I'm screwed.

Whatever it is, I'm proud of myself. It's not that I'm satisfied with the result but I think I did really worked hard for it so 'Alhamdulillah' will make it. If you who read this are PT3's candidates too the only you'll understand me. 

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Faith

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

There's no much time left for me for hoping and praying. Today is D-5 already. So there's 5 days more to go before all batch 99 meet with 22 December 2014. I swear that day will be a memorable day for all PT3's candidate, or shall I say... PT3's victim? Ahaha. Of course it's a memorable day but the thing is either it's a sweet or bitter memory. I know I didn't put a lot of effort on that crazy-new-exam actually. So, whatever it come out to be, I'll try to accept it. Redha. I believe success depend on how much effort we give.

Well... I hear there's so many rumors about this upcoming result. There's people who said that the gred didn't decrease or increase at all. This make me cry already. If that's the case, then I'll only 1A or 2A. There's also people who said that PT3 will be repealed next year because of this year's result are so disappointing. This quite testing batch 99's anger actually. Who do you think we are? A substances and apparatus for an experiment?

I try not to think too much about it to avoid stress. I don't want to feel the same pressure I've felt before. The pressure that I felt on the day before PT3's exam. I can't even study properly because of it. So let's not get the pressure again this time. I want to be look cool. Hahaha.




Okay,let's stop talking about that crazy-mind-making thing. Well, it's been a long time since I last post about kpop thing and my over-crazy-fangirling. So, who are those 7 guys above. Aha! It's BTS! Bangtan Boys. Bulletproof Boys. Bangtan Sonyeondan. Fine, I'll stop shout their name. What's wrong with them? Actually I'm slowly becoming an ARMY now. Adorable Representative M.C for Youth. BTS's fan. It's since last February which is on their comeback, Skool Luv Affair album which represent Boy In Luv as their title. At that time I just know V because I'm interest on how weird he is. Hahaha, he really deserves that 'alien' title. I also stalk them a little. 








Sorry for building a gallery here. Hehe. But when they do their another comeback which on August with Wild & Dark album which the title is Danger, I slowly became more interest in them. So I start stalking them a little more. I start to watch all their variety shows they attend and learning little by little about them. Some k-pop group must have that one person who are serious or quiet - but not them. They are all loud - and crazy. I still like V but the more I stalk, the more I fell for Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin and V is classmate in high school actually. So they are quite close. Do you watch last MAMA. Oh gosh. Jimin is really getting my attention. 


Just ignore it if you don't like. But you must realize how hot is he. Oh My V, I swear he's so hot. How can he own a cute face and a hot body at the same time?

Enough with my fangirling. It will never end. If you know me in person only then you will know how crazy I'm fangirling over someone and something if I really love them. Okay. I think this is it. I'll try to find more time after this to update - maybe after result. Anyway, to everyone who read this, do pray for me. I hope I'll get what I deserve.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Monday, 15 December 2014

No More

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Maybe to who that doesn't know me in person never know what my nickname are. Okay, today I'm gonna reveal my true self. I've never story anything, right?

I have been always use to be called Cah. And sometimes they even call me AishEob. AishEob stands for Aishah + Yoseob. Hahahaha. Okay now, for the first time, I'll be mentioning about my school. I've been studying at SMKA (P) Al-Mashoor which is located in Georgetown, Penang. Actually it's not that I'm not proud to be Mashoorian but I just don't want people to misunderstand about that school because of me. Al-Mashoor is a great school with an awesome teachers and gorgeous students. But it's me who I think will dirt the school's name, for sure. Because of my kpop things and non-islamic-type post, I guess. 

I'm applying MRSM actually. I don't even know that I will be able to enter that school because I know my ability. If I was given a choice between to stay or transfer, I'll choose to stay. I really want to stay. Things that make me want to stay is, of course because of friends. I'm not the type who change friends easily. Second reason is because of Nasyid. Yeah, I'm school's Nasyid team member, Nida'ul Husna. I've been in this team since I'm form 2. I'm not a singer. I'm just a percussionist. My interest is music, as you read at my profile. I like playing music instrument no matter what it is and my favourite music instrument is guitar and keyboard. I wish I could own one of it one day.

But why do I applied MRSM if I want to stay? It is because of my mom. She is raising me alone. If I be one of the MRSM's students, I can get into university easily. And I think if I go there, I will be more serious in studies. That way I'll be able to catch my dream of being an Astronomer like Ibnu Sina. I like him a lot. And I want to be like him. I want to change the way of my life now. For the sake of my mom, actually. But I'm actually interest more in music than astronomy. Becoming a composer is my first serious ambition I have thought. Than I change when I'm 11, because my teacher said widespread of music is one of the sign of Kiamat. But now that I have matured enough to think about it, - since I'm in Nasyid team - music can effect almost everything we look to this world, - that's a fact - so why don't use my interest in music to spread da'wah? Isn't it will be more fun, right?

Well, I'm not the type who obviously start a conversation with strangers - and with someone I never talk to - including my friends, although we studies at the same school - even in the same class. So do greet me first if you want to talk to me cause I'll never. Plus, people said I'm arrogant. Even my friends said that before they know me, they think I'm arrogant - but it's turn out I'm really a vivacious person when they get to know me - because I love to laugh loudly. Guys, you don't know me yet you judge me by my face. My face is originally like that. If I walk alone at the corridor, am I suppose to smile by my own? Isn't that crazy? I'm a hot-tempered too. I don't like when people do something I hate.

I hate nuts and durian so much so please don't put them in my any kind of food. Actually I eat nuts sometimes - maybe some type of peanut - but I have never eat durian before. Never. I can't understand how they said it's so delicious while the smell is really... ugh! I can't stand with it.

Besides, I love stars. I love it so much. I love watching them every night from in front of my house gate. Don't ask me why because I'll only answers you "it's beautiful. extremely beautiful". I have another reason but no one knows about it - even my friends. But it is the reason why I love stars in the first place. And now it's not anymore. It's absolutely not my reason anymore. Anyways, I have many collection of stars origami and glow-in-the-dark stars. I usually love to make origami and it's officially became my hobby. But when I'm depressed, sad, disappointed and ect, I'll do more stars than I usually do. Because when I do the origami, I'm actually focus on it and automatically I forget all the problems I have. It really help me releasing stress.



That's all. Pray for me, guys. Wish me luck for my PT3's result. Bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Mirth

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Hi and welcome to my precious blog. Long time no see, right? I can't even tell when is the last time I update a post. The school holidays has begin so I'm so much free now.

This time I'm gonna story about my friends. My gorgeous, awesome, brilliant and superb friends. They always make me happy and teach me to put my problem in a pocket with a hole in it. I never thought that I'll be knowing every of them and now, I'm so thankful to know and have friends like them.

Amani. We are not that close but she have been almost always with me when I have a problem. I'm comfortable to share my stories with her because I know, she will comfort me better. She teach me not to stop loving someone even if we hurt so much. Just prostrate to Allah and raise your both hand and pray. She always give me useful advice and inspiring words. I've been always hope for not to lose a friend like her. 

Nuriha. She's my second friend that I don't want to lose. She's the one that always make me happy with all weird thing she do. Haha. Actually she's not weird, she's unique. Like her name. I have wrote about her once if you notice. We always share and think the same thing. We always interest in the same idol group. From Beast, then Song Joongki, Infinite, Exo, Suju. But no more for now. She still likes Suju and I'm with BTS (but beast is still no.1 for sure). We always have our own partner that we like. I wonder if I move out from this school, am I able to find a unique human being like her ever again?

Wardina. My friend since form 1. We always fight for small things but of course we will get back together again. We are same. Almost every thing. We are both sensitive. We are both hot-tempered. We are both Siti Hawa team in sport. We are both the youngest child. We are both have 4 siblings. We are both born by a second wife mother. We are both born in the same month. We are also stay in the same dorm this year. And many more. I hope this friendship will last long. She often getting sick. So I'm a bit worried about her. But she must be so grateful because there're many friend that volunteer to help when she's sick.

Yusal. She's a girl with a mind that no one can even expect what she is actually think of. She always accompanied me to stay up late to study or eat sometimes and a friend to chat before going to sleep at night. We usually talk about life and what we will be in the future. We like to talk about something useless sometimes. Hahaha. She has the same family problem with me so I think she understand me the best.

Intan. We are close when we're form 1 and form 2. But serious talk, I don't know what the thing that make me and her distance this year. We rarely talk to each other and have a crazy conversation like we used to have. But no matter what, I still love her. I still consider her as my best friend because we do have memories together. She's crazy and love to laugh. But the thing I hate the most about her is, she is selfish and we can never fix it. But still, she's a good friend.

Dazrina. I still remember when I'm form 1, honestly I said, I used to hate her. I don't know why. But the more I know her, the more I like to be her friend. She likes to make stupid jokes that I can't bear but laugh. She likes to talk about her nephews. From what I heard, I think she's really love them. They must know that they are so blessed to have an aunt like her. She's a good friend. She always comfort me and always make me express myself when I actually want to hide. But gladly, she end up giving me a useful advice.

Aisyah Shihah. Well, I didn't know much about her because we are not that close - and to be honest, I've never talk to her. We start to know each other since Daz created a group on Line which named DAWYAD. DAWYAD stands for Dazrina, Aishah, Wardina, Yusal, Aisyah and Dahlia. I know her since form 1 but I just know her name and her figure. I still remember, when I'm form 1, I didn't even dare to enter her class - because she's the class president that time. I thought that she's so fierce and conceited. But since we start to know each other personalities and she's good and nice actually. Also, I find that she's quite crazy and annoying too. She always annoys me with unrelated things. She always make me mad with her. But I starts to realize - that is her charm. And also, I've never talk to her until now. We only contact each other through Wechat.

Dahlia. I also get to know her through DAWYAD. I never talk to her also. Like Aisyah, I only know her name and her figure when I'm form 1. I also thought that she's arrogant. I didn't dare to talk to her because I think she's fierce - like Aisyah. Haha. But all that thing turn to lies. Yes. She's not arrogant. She's nice and sometimes crazy too. Well, I think that's why an idiom like 'Don't judge a book by it's cover' existed.

Rafhanah and Afifah. Or shall I say Ana and Pipah. Haha. Well, I know them since form 1. Unlike Aisyah and Dahlia, we do talk to each other but we're not so close until I get into the same class with them this year. They are kpoppers - like me. Oh before I forget, Amani, Aisyah and Dahlia too. They are both crazy when it turn to fangirling. They like to read fanfics too. We always exchange stories. But sometimes we also talk about problem. I like to express my feeling to Pipah because her advice are meaningful to me. I like her words when she's comforting someone. Ana stay at the same area with me. So, we usually go back home from school together. 

And the conclusion is, they are all friends that always be with me when I want to do crazy thing. Fangirling with me no matter what. Support and comfort me no matter what.


Thanks, girls. Thank you so much. I never want to lose friends like all of you. You all make me happy. Thanks and thanks, again and again.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

Too Much

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Since PT3 is over (even though we still have PBS), we are getting bored and have nothing to do especially the hostelites. Arrgghh! Well, actually we fill our leisure time with chatting, playing stupid games, read novels... oops! kantoi pulak. Haha. 

And since PT3 is over, our relationship between friends also getting worst. More betrays, more neglects, more ignorence, more backstabbing, more lies and more hearts has been hurt.

I know I'm not a good friend, but at least, I know the value of friendship. I know what appreciate really means. And I know that I have to appreciate every person that exist in my life. 

I should be proud of my heart for being neglected, ignored, stabbed, hurt and lied but still working well.

I'm upset with my friends. I trust them so much. They promised me. But the broke the bond. And I hate it so much. All my trust that I put on them are all gone now. Although they don't know about this, I mean they don't know that I knew the truth and just acting in front of them, but still, I can't hate them. I may used to this kind of situation but this is too much. For your information, I never hate anybody in my life and it's make my life sucks. I'm hard to hate people. And even at this case, I still can't hate them. I love every of my friends. It's just I love the one who close with even more. But I can't hate them and I hate myself for being like this.



When? When can I find my true friend? I think Nasuha's word is right. "Don't create best friend forever cause it's all bullshit" Hahahahaha. Hmmm, bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Free?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Hi semua! Wow! It's such a long time. I don't have time. Maybe I do have time but I used it to watch K-Dramas. Hehe. I've a lot of story to tell you. Well, sebenarnya SA tak ingat sangat nak cerita apa. Masa benda tu jadi, dah set dah dalam otak, 'nanti update blog'. Tapi sekarang dah lupa. SA cerita yang SA ingat la ya?

Birthday.
Hmm, tak ada benda menarik pon. My birthday are not celebrated by anyone. Actually, I don't even care if they want to celebrate it or not but... I just want to hear 'Happy Birthday' word from everyone I know. I can count it with my fingers the amount of people that wished me. Started from a birthday song through a phone call from Amani, then wishes from Nasuha Rosli, Jazmina, Nuriha, Ana, Daz, Er, Pah, K.silmi and lastly Nasuha Ariffin. I don't know why but I'm feeling so upset that my bestfriends... no! Maybe not. Maybe we are not bestfriends. Maybe we are just close to each other. Whatever it is, the point here is, I'm upset and disappointed of them. I don't even get any wish from them. And it's depressing me a lot. Okay that's enough. Huhh!

Trial Exam.
This is what make me stress more. I can't even scored A in every subject. Huhh. It's about one month left before the real exam which is PT3 will come and meet us. But I'm still playing a lot. Want me to tell you something, Well, it's quite embarrassing actually but I don't care. I've never get A for Math. Haha. From Nursery untill now. Because of that I'm suprised the moment I scored A for Math in UPSR. That was my first and last.

2nd Trial.
Because of the whole of my batch's results are unsatisfactory, our teachers decided to once more trial for us. This time, I really try to do my best. We din't get all of our paper back yet. We only got 5 papers and I got 3A 1B 1C. Know what the C goes for? Of course Math. Hmm. At least I don't failed. Haha.

PT3.
The day has come. And I think I have try all the best that I could. I felt stress and a little bit... no, maybe much of pressure. I got headache all day before the actual exam day and can't even focus in tuitions. But thanks to HIM, I can still did my best and I felt relax.



That's all that I can remember. Hmm, PT3 memang la dah habis. Tapi PBS masih ada. Selagi tak dapat result selagi tu la kena buat. Kami mana ada boleh pi keluar sana sini macam batch PMR sebelum-sebelum ni. Banyak aktiviti diorang boleh buat sendiri dan free sangat-sangat. Well, pendek kata, batch 99 tak tahu apa itu erti FREEDOM. Haha. Okay, sampai sini sahaja. Bye.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 27 July 2014

Happy Eid Day

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Ramadhan is going to leave us in just few hours more. Hope that our good deeds are accepted by Him.

So, celebrate your Eid Day as happy as you can. We don't know what's going to happen. Maybe this is our last time meeting Ramadhan. Who knows?

Err... Let me do some speech in Malay or shall I say a little bit Manglish. Hehehe.



Selamat Hari Raya to all muslims on this earth. I want to apology to all persons that I know and know me. Andai ada TERkutuk kat belakang, TERpaksa buat benda yg tak suka, TERbagi terasa hati, TERpinjam or ambil harta benda without permission dan segala mak nenek yang sewaktu dengannya lah, mohon dimaafkan ya. 0/0 lah ya. Sama2 kita perbaiki kesilapan yang telah kita lakukan dan jadi manusia yang lebih baik. Moga diistiqamahkan amalan2 yang kita lakukan sepanjang bulan Ramadhan ini. Semoga Syawal yang menjelang tiba akan lebih bermakna dari yang sebelumnya. Sedang sibuk kita bergembira tu nanti, jangan dilupa pada yang tiada. Ingat, kita juga akan merasa benda sama suatu hari nanti. So, last words, Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin.




Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Why?

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Since this Ramadhan, I got many hardship. My life turn upside down and be toughs. What I'm thinking is, I'm afraid that I may lose everyone I used to love. My parents, my siblings, my teachers, my friends and my Opah.

                                                                                                                                                       

1 Ramadhan, 29 July.
My friends got into a fight and it is a really serious fight. I can't tell you the reason because it's their secrets. This thing mess me up when one of my friends has give up with the other one. Actually, she felt that many time, but I'm the one who prevent her from giving up. I always and keep encourage her to work harder for this friendship if she really want to become her friend. But it has been a hundred time. So, she really fed up with her. She didn't want to hear anything about her anymore. It make me sad because I feel like I'm failed to consolidate them. Although they are giving up for each other, but I'm not. I'll still try my best to get them together again.

12 Ramadhan, 10 July.
In a fine morning, my school was shocked by a news. We were all notified that a person who used to be a teacher at that school, has already gone. Tears can't stop flowing from everyone's eyes. The same goes to me. Cikgu Fuziah, yeah, that's her name. Cikgu, why you have to go before seeing us success. What making me more sad is I'm not being able to say sorry for all my sins toward you, cikgu. I did a lot.
Al-fatihah.

19 Ramadhan, 17 July.
It's a really good day when I'm at school that day. But in the next day, 20 Ramadhan, when I'm back from hostel, I got a really shocked news. My Opah, a person who I used to love her so much, gone. I don't know what to respond my mother when she first told me about it. She didn't fetch me because she say she didn't want to interrupt me from doing the examinations. This make me hate PT3. Arrgghh! Why? Why do I have to face all of this. Opah, why you leave me so early. I want to show you my results with my own hand but why? Opah, I'm sorry that I couldn't be there when you were buried. I can't see your face for the last time. Opah, last time I see you was in March's holiday. I really miss you. I really love you. I wanna see your smile again.
And in the same day, the world were shocked by MH17 has been attacked.
Al-fatihah.
                                                                                                                                                       


It's all happen in a short period. Everything happen in the same time.
That's what happening to me that I can story you. There are more but it's a big secret. 

Allahu, give me strengths.
Thanks for creating tears. I'd cried a lot and it help me release a little bit.



Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Busy is Controlling

Assalamualikum w.b.t.




Yeah, it's time for PT3, guys. I have to study hard now. But in the same time I can't keep myself in a tension mood. I can't be stress or I'll be crazy. Haha. I'll be really busy so I can't update like usual.

To all PT3 candidates,
Good luck! Let's pray for the best for our batch. Let's show the world our abilities. Yawww! Let's fight till the end!

I just want to inform that. So, goodbye. See you then! I'm gonna miss you all. *Ok bajet.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Come Back Again

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.



At last. Ramadhan had came. As a muslim, we must not forget to fast in this month. Because it's one of Rukun Islam. Do a lots of good deeds. So that your fast will be more meaningful.

Well, this is my first time posting such a short update. As a closer, Happy Fasting to all Muslims!

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Saturday, 28 June 2014

Not Last

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

I dedicate this special post to Nurul Hannan, who had used to be my 'adik kamar'.

Hannan, 
Yes, yesterday is your last day at that school, but I hope this is not our last meet. I will be missing you, so you must be too.
I'll miss your polka dot and flowery pants.
I'll miss your 'beautiful' laugh.
I'll miss your polka dot black and white scarf.
I'll miss your cute smile.
Don't you dare thinking about forgetting us here. I'm sure, we will meet again next time. Maybe one day. One fine day.
And don't you ever dare forgetting our moments, all together. Jannatul Ma'wa want them always in your heart. 
Memories never die, Hannan. It's hard to forget someone who give so much to remember.
Go! Go and live the life you have been dreaming for. Because the future belong to those who believes in the beauty of their dream.
Seriously, I just can't let you go.
Remember this one little sentence, 
'Love is something we can appreciate. Not throwing away like trash.'
Last words from me, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR NEW LIFE. I love you. Goodbye.


Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Just a Minute

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Lamanya tak bukak blog. Cuti 2 minggu ni schedule full gila. Kalah schedule exo *hiperbola*. Haha, takda lah. Sebenarnya lappy SA rosak. Baru semalam abah pergi ambik bawak balik. Hari ni la baru dapat online segala mak nenek tu. Telefon pun lingkup. Haha, ganas sangat ke SA ni guna barang? 

Btw, first friday masa cuti haritu(30 Mei), kakak SA yang nombor 2 kahwin. Hari sabtu esok tu pulak kenduri. Seronok la jugak. Ye lah. Bila lagi saudara mara boleh berkumpul selain ada kenduri or hari raya. Paling SA rindu of corse la anak2 menakan SA. Bukan anak adik-beradik SA. Anak sepupu je. Tapi kakak sulung SA tu ada la anak sorang. Zaara. Yang geramnya, kawan2 SA lah. Kononnya kata dari seberang lah apa lah, nak mai ramai2 lah, and at last, orang Balik Pulau ja yg datang. Ugghh -..-

Masa cuti pulak pergi melawat 2 tempat ja. Tu pon bukannya melawat, pergi rumah kakak2 SA. Yg first tu dekat KL. Yg second, I mean yg baru kahwin tu dekat Johor. Yup, laki dia orang Johor.

Infinite dah comeback sebelum cuti lagi. Last Romeo. Best lagu dia. SA suka. SA paling suka lirik ending pada chorus dia. "Nan neo bakkaen an boinda". Maksud dia, I can't see anything but only you. 

Beast pun dah keluar teaser diorang. Good Luck. Lagu tu keluar esok tapi hari ni SA dah kena balik asrama. Apa lah nasib. Tapi diorang dah buat pre-comeback. No More, so it's okay la.



Bye, dah nak kena balik ni.

Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Thing Everyone HATE

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Well, when you are seeing the Post Title, what is the first thing that you think about? Hahaha. What I am going to talk about is school. Yeah, it's school. Everyone hate school. But sometimes when you are at the school you will not want to go home. Why?

Friends.

Yeah, friends is the reason. You enjoy school because of them. So, you better have a lot of friends because they can shine you to through the journey of your world.

Actually, I am on March holiday for a week. Tomorrow, we will start to go to school back like usually.

Woohyun: Serve you right!
Me: Eee ishhh! -..-"

Okay, just let it go. Forget the past and be happy in the future. I'm gonna go find my own happiness from now on, don't want to hear at others behind talk about me anymore and just try to be myself. Good Luck to me! Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Just a Word

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.



You may not be happy for not to get what you want but it's the first step to get your real happiness. Life is an unpredictable journey, full of surprise and the ups and downs but behold, on that journey you will learnt to be more mature, caring and understanding. Never give up and commit suicide, complaining that your family, boyfriend/girlfriend and friends are suck. Instead of pray and thank God for giving you the chance to wake up everyday, seeing your family still complete when there's people out there, dying just to protect their family, nation and religion. Don't waste your time on one thing because God only give you one life so cherish every moment you got, be happy and repent before you have your breathe for the last time and never come back again. That's all! Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Saturday, 22 March 2014

She's Back

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Life is about loving someone who know to appreciate you.

But now, I don't even know who's that person. Are all the person that I love, love me too?

Okay. Actually I wanna talk about NH for now.

Sis, why must now? Why must you came back into my life now? I'm already being happy without you though sometimes my mind go with you. My mind went back to all memories about me and you. Although you didn't do much to me, I love you. Yes, I still. Well, I admit that I miss you for now. I always look at your nametag that you gave me. I keep it in my purse and I bring it to everywhere I go. Like seriously, I miss the old of us.

22 March 2014, 1.03 a.m.

You'll never know how happy am I the moment you said that 'words' to me. I hope that you'll reply me.

I don't wanna talk much. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or amount of time since you have talked. It's about that every moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you.




Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.

Friday, 31 January 2014

Back To You

Assalamualikum w.b.t.

Wow. Sedar tak sedar kita dah pun menjejaki tahun 2014. Dah sebulan dah pun. Setiap orang mesti ada memori yang tak dapat dilupakan sepanjang tahun tidak kira sama ada pahit atau manis meski masam sekalipun. Okay, tak lawak.

Bagi SA, ini permulaan yang baik. Hubungan SA dengan NH dah okay walaupun tak macam dulu. Dan SA dalam proses untuk cua taknak bencikan sesiapa dah buat masa sekarang. Banyak jugak dugaan menimpa walaupun baru sebulan berada dalam 2014, namun insyaallah, akan SA tempuh dengan tabah bersama redha dan bantuan dari-Nya. I may change but actually I'm not. This is the real of me. I've found my way out.

Cakap pasal change, hati SA pun dah berubah sekarang. Berubah macam mana tu. Well, hidup sebagai kpopper ni memang penuh dengan kitaran. Kenapa SA cakap macam ni? Sebab hati SA kembali memilih Yoseob. Kenapa tetiba? Entah, SA pun tak tahu. Apa yang jelas, hati SA tak boleh dan tak sanggup nak tinggalkan B2ST.

Walaupun SA pernah cakap yang SA kenal Infinite dulu antara semua kpop group, and Woohyun was my first sight love. Tapi kalau fikir balik, kenapa walaupun SA suka Woohyun tapi SA tak ada rasa nak tahu pun nama dia or else. And lepas tu SA jumpa B2ST dan jatuh cinta dengan suara Yoseob. Then, terus search every single thing pasal diorang. Actually, masa mula suka Yoseob dulu, SA tak perasan pun yang dia tu comel gila. Lama-lama baru perasan. Sebab bila SA search tu, jumpa gambar-gambar dia yang adorable gila.

And one more important thing to prove that I like him so much. Walau berapa banyak pun laki yang SA jumpa dalam dunia kpop ni, bermacam jenis laki yang SA pilih dalam setiap kumpulan, hati SA takkan pernah berubah. 

Well, you may think that SA tengah over or syok sendiri sekarang, but you have to know one thing, Althought I may be crazy over all those kpop things, I still have my pride as a Muslim. I know what I have to avoid. Lagi pun alhamdulillah SA tak sampai tahap puja-memuja ni. 

So, the conclusion is... I'm back to you, B2ST, Boys 2 Search for Top!



Wassalamualaikum w.b.t.